FUNNIEST Vacuum Cleaner Jokes (You Never Heard Of)

Without a doubt, vacuum cleaners are one of the most helpful cleaning tools ever invented. But who would have thought that there are plenty of jokes about them? In this post, we will share with you the best and FUNNIEST vacuum cleaner and carpet cleaner jokes. Let’s get started.

Vacuum Cleaner Jokes in Pictures

Funniest Vacuum Cleaner Jokes

1. Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch? Because they have no attachments.
2. What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner? Placement of the dirt bag.
3. What is the difference between a Russian tank and a vacuum cleaner? There's only one dirtbag in a vacuum cleaner.
4. Why is outer space so clean? It's a vacuum!
5. Does anyone want to buy a vacuum cleaner? Mine is just collecting dust.
6. What did the father say when he was killing his kid with a vacuum cleaner? Dyson.
7. What's the difference between a feminist and a vacuum cleaner? They both suck, but a vacuum cleaner has a handle on it.
8. What do vacuums and woman have in common? The more you pay, the better they suck.
9. If I clean my vacuum cleaner, does that make me a vacuum cleaner?
10. What do you call a janitor in space? A vacuum cleaner.
11. What sucks but doesn't suck at the same time? A broken vacuum cleaner.
12. Who is the worst superhero? Vacuum Man. He sucks.

Best Vacuum Cleaner One-Liners

1. Vacuum cleaners. They suck when they work and they suck when they don't.
2. I finally threw away my vacuum cleaner. It was just collecting dust.
3. Being single is like a vacuum cleaner. It sucks when you’re turned on.
4. I just bought the best vacuum ever. It sucks.
5. The highlight of my week was my new vacuum cleaner. Things are picking up.
6. My jokes are like vacuum cleaners. They suck.
7. Abortions are like stains in my carpet. You don't want them to be seen, and you pay somebody to vacuum them out.
8. I just spent 3 hours in the emergency room. The Dyson Ball vacuum has a very misleading name.
9. If you think your microwave spying on you is bad, think again. Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
10. I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago. So far all it's been doing is gathering dust.
11. I got inside a vacuum chamber once. It was breathtaking.
12. I bought my wife a matching bag and belt for Valentine's Day. She should be able to fix the vacuum cleaner and get it running now.
13. They say a fool and his money are easily parted, but vacuum repair shops really are for broke suckers.
14. I had to return my Buddhist vacuum. It came with no attachments.
15. My son was overjoyed when I told him that I found his hamster. Not so much when I said it was in the vacuum cleaner.
16. When you clean a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.

Helpful links:

• Best upright vacuum cleaner
• Best vacuum cleaner for stairs